I was organizing my locker afterschool last week, something I do many days afterschool (yet another aspect of my OCPD), and I found a list that I had written last year. It was all the books that I had read last year, or at least all of the books that I had remembered. The first seven titles were the Harry Potter books. The first four actually had "(read this twice)" written next to them.
At first, this filled me with pride because it meant that I had read eleven Harry Potter books last year, nothing record-breaking, but considering that I had read a great deal of other books as well it was a pretty decent accomplishment. Then I became a little upset because I had realized something- I had been underestimating the total number of times I had read a Harry Potter book. I had been saying that I'd read them somewhere in the late teens, early twenties range, but after seeing that I had read them eleven times last year alone, I realized that I had actually read them about thirty plus times. A much more impressive, albeit nerdy, number.
And as nerdy as getting upset about such a little thing is, I am slowly becoming okay with the fact that I am a major nerd. I have come to the conclusion that as much as I have, somewhat unsuccessfully, tried to repress it, nerdiness will forever be a part of who I am, and I'm proud of that. Well, I'm proud of that when I'm around other nerdy people, or alone. I'm still working on being okay with it when people are judging me for it. Someday...
Anyway, this realization had inspired a few blog post topics (different types of nerd/the difference between a nerd and a geek, more Harry Potter stuff, and probably one about my nerdiness in general), so look forward to those whenever I find another time to write.
Until that time comes, try to embrace who you are.
Showing posts with label OCPD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label OCPD. Show all posts
27 March, 2011
10 January, 2011
That Sounds Like a Personal Problem to Me
The other day, my friend informed me that I was suffering from OCPD, which she explained as sort of like OCD only way more intense.
With semester exams at the end of this week, I had forgotten about this diagnosis until just now and since I was not completely satisfied with my friend's explanation of the disorder, I decided to do a little research.
My research skills are few and far between, so I just went straight to Google (by go-to source) and simply clicked on the first link that appeared-- Wikipedia. (Shocking)
SInce I'm sure you're all incredibly interested in my issues, I will include the interesting/important parts of my findings (And, hey, who knows? You might just learn something about yourself):
"Obsessive–compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) is characterized by a pervasive pattern of preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency. People with OCPD may feel anxious when they perceive that things are not right. This can lead to routines and rules for ways of doing things."
Yeah...that's like me, only in text form.
Anyway, I guess I should list the symptoms (go ahead and take this time for a little self-analysis):
"Preoccupation with details, rules, lists, order, organization, and schedules; being very rigid and inflexible in their beliefs; showing perfectionism that interferes with completing a task; excessive focus on being productive with their time; being very conscientious; having inflexible morality, ethics, or values; hoarding items that may no longer have value; and a reluctance to trust a work assignment or task to someone else for fear that their standards will not be met."
As far as the hoarding goes, it says that people with OCPD tend to hoard money, not items. The reason for this often lies in a fear of problems that could occur in the future, which would lead to a need for extra money.
Early in my life, I probably would have denied having a hoarding problem, but I have since then matured and know better-- I do have a money hoarding issue. It's something that I have had problems with since I was a child. Any time I would get money from relatives for my birthday or Christmas I would save and hardly ever spend it. Thankfully, I have managed to improve and do spend more of my money now (mainly on books, but that's something, right?)
Another thing I learned was that I had incorrectly diagnosed myself when I was younger, I used to say that I had OCD because that, ADD, and ADHD were the only disorders that I really knew something about, but I have since learned that, while OCD and OCPD have their similarities, there is a fine line between the two.
"Despite the similar names, they are two distinct disorders, although some OCPD individuals also suffer from OCD, and the two are sometimes found in the same family. People experiencing OCPD do not generally feel the need to repeatedly perform ritualistic actions-- a common symptom of OCD --and usually find pleasure in perfecting a task whereas OCD patients are often more distressed after their actions."
Great, so I get pleasure from my insanity.
Last thing that I found out was that OCPD only occurs in about 1% of the general population (so, random Googler, you're probably safe), 3-10% in psychiatric patients, and that it is twice as common in men than women.
I guess that makes me a double-whammy, general population AND a female. (I always knew that I was special, I just didn't know how special.)
Anyway, I'm going to go see a therapist now...
Hopefully you didn't find yourself staring back at you through those Wikipedia quotes, but if you did, then at least know that you're among friends... well a friend-- me.
With semester exams at the end of this week, I had forgotten about this diagnosis until just now and since I was not completely satisfied with my friend's explanation of the disorder, I decided to do a little research.
My research skills are few and far between, so I just went straight to Google (by go-to source) and simply clicked on the first link that appeared-- Wikipedia. (Shocking)
SInce I'm sure you're all incredibly interested in my issues, I will include the interesting/important parts of my findings (And, hey, who knows? You might just learn something about yourself):
"Obsessive–compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) is characterized by a pervasive pattern of preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency. People with OCPD may feel anxious when they perceive that things are not right. This can lead to routines and rules for ways of doing things."
Yeah...that's like me, only in text form.
Anyway, I guess I should list the symptoms (go ahead and take this time for a little self-analysis):
"Preoccupation with details, rules, lists, order, organization, and schedules; being very rigid and inflexible in their beliefs; showing perfectionism that interferes with completing a task; excessive focus on being productive with their time; being very conscientious; having inflexible morality, ethics, or values; hoarding items that may no longer have value; and a reluctance to trust a work assignment or task to someone else for fear that their standards will not be met."
As far as the hoarding goes, it says that people with OCPD tend to hoard money, not items. The reason for this often lies in a fear of problems that could occur in the future, which would lead to a need for extra money.
Early in my life, I probably would have denied having a hoarding problem, but I have since then matured and know better-- I do have a money hoarding issue. It's something that I have had problems with since I was a child. Any time I would get money from relatives for my birthday or Christmas I would save and hardly ever spend it. Thankfully, I have managed to improve and do spend more of my money now (mainly on books, but that's something, right?)
Another thing I learned was that I had incorrectly diagnosed myself when I was younger, I used to say that I had OCD because that, ADD, and ADHD were the only disorders that I really knew something about, but I have since learned that, while OCD and OCPD have their similarities, there is a fine line between the two.
"Despite the similar names, they are two distinct disorders, although some OCPD individuals also suffer from OCD, and the two are sometimes found in the same family. People experiencing OCPD do not generally feel the need to repeatedly perform ritualistic actions-- a common symptom of OCD --and usually find pleasure in perfecting a task whereas OCD patients are often more distressed after their actions."
Great, so I get pleasure from my insanity.
Last thing that I found out was that OCPD only occurs in about 1% of the general population (so, random Googler, you're probably safe), 3-10% in psychiatric patients, and that it is twice as common in men than women.
I guess that makes me a double-whammy, general population AND a female. (I always knew that I was special, I just didn't know how special.)
Anyway, I'm going to go see a therapist now...
Hopefully you didn't find yourself staring back at you through those Wikipedia quotes, but if you did, then at least know that you're among friends... well a friend-- me.
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