An Ode to Smithen

So I took a stab at writing poetry the other day, and then my good friend Sarah and I exchanged some of our writing via Facebook (and by "Sarah and I" I mean Sarah sent me some lovely tiny stories, and I decided to jump off a cliff). 

By "jump off a cliff", I mean to say that I had never before allowed someone to read something personal I had written. Not that I even write a lot. Actually, I haven't written a poem since my eighth grade English class. 

I've never considered myself a writer. But Sarah has given me the confidence to share this with the Internet. 

One last thing you should know before reading this poem is that I was inspired to write it after seeing a picture of Matt Smith and Karen Gillan. So basically its fanfictry (fan fiction in poetry form). Enjoy. 

Standing by her side,

no need to glance;

the heat from her body 

is assurance enough.

She smiles,

unaware 

of the ease her presence 

gives her companion.

Her beauty is nothing

compared to the 

tranquil pride reflected 

in his face.

No, nothing compares

to a man in

love.

For those who are curious, here is the aforementioned "Smithen" picture:

So there you have it, folks-- Smithen fanfictry.

Reasons I Could Not Be a Celebrity

1. Being constantly criticized for everything from personal relationships to wiggling your pinky toe.

2. Having people take anything you say out of context for the sole purpose of making you look bad.

3. Candid photos. 

4. The apparent loss of any previous ability to properly name a baby.*

*Exceptions do exist, but they are rare. 

The 365 Model

My friend Lauren is an aspiring photographer. Now, when I say "aspiring", I don't mean that she's your typical teenage girl with a DSLR that takes a lot of pictures of flowers. Not at all. Lauren is incredibly gifted and has all sorts of impressive and intimidating photography equipment. I only call her an aspiring photographer because she hopes to, one day, have her own, professional photography business. 

Recently, she's been doing this 365 thing where she takes a picture a day for a year. This point of this exercise is to improve both your photography and photoshop skills. 

Apparently I am her favorite model because I'll do whatever she wants without much complaining/questioning. 

Here are a few examples:

So anyway, I posed for today's picture, and as I was leaving her house her mom was all, "You should model for real; you're really pretty." 

Obviously, I was incredibly flattered. And there are times I think it'd be really fun to be a model, but then I really think about it and I decide against it. The main reason being I'm afraid that if I got into a job that depended on my body, I would develop unhealthy eating habits and that wouldn't be good. Plus, most models don't wear glasses, but I really prefer how I look with them, as opposed to contacts. 

Anyway, you should totally check out Lauren's other 365 pictures because they're all really rad. Like this one that she took of herself yesterday.

Political Cookies and Chicken

With the entire nation obsessing over Chick-fil-A and the company's latest statement speaking out against gay marriage, I just want to express my thoughts on the subject.

I should probably preface this by saying that I am completely and utterly for gay marriage. This being said, I think Chick-fil-A, and everyone else, should just stop it. I actually wish Dan Cathy had never made his statement with regards to Chick-fil-A and their anti-gay "values". The reason being, Chick-fil-A is a business, and as such their first priority should be to make money by providing good products. Their second priority, since they already have delicious products that sell well, should be to work on improving and developing new ways to gain money. But not empty money, money in exchange for the wonderful service and products their customers receive.

Maybe this is all just because I'm in the middle of reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, and a major point in the book is that companies need to stop trying to be political, or getting themselves involved with "important issues", and just be the best company they can be.

And I completely agree. Yes, I realize that Chick-fil-A has already identified itself as a Christian fast-food restaurant, but you don't see a bunch of other Christian companies taking time from running their business to get involved with politics. Dan Cathy and his family are allowed to have whatever opinions of gay marriage as they would like, and they are also perfectly capable of donating their proceeds to anti-gay things, but that isn't something that they need to advertise. Companies don't go around making statements about the way their company budgets their profits, and I don't see why Chick-fil-A felt the need to start now.

This being said, I should probably also address Oreos and the other companies who have recently made pro-gay advertisements. I would be lying if I said I wasn't somewhat pleased with this, which is part of my problem. I realize that, until now, I was being hypocritical. But I realize that I also wish companies would stop with the pro-gay advertisements as well.

Here's to hoping that all companies are able to drop the political campaigns, and go back to focusing on their company, and, by extension, how to make more money. After all, you don't start and business to get into politics-- you do it to make a living.

Today I made a giant leap forward into adulthood; I had my first visit to an adult dentist. In some ways it was much better than my previous child dentist. For one, the lady who cleaned my teeth did not attempt to carry on a conversation as she stuck various, pointy metal things in my mouth. In other ways it wasn't as great as my previous dentist. See, my old dentist catered to kids elementary to high school, so you got to watch movies while they cleaned your teeth and they gave you fun flavors for the toothpaste.

It's sad to see how little whimsy there is in the adult world. Why can't adults be given different options for the flavor of their toothpaste? Why can't adults enjoy a film whilst there teeth and gums are being vigorously scraped? The office itself was bland with blank, neutral colored walls that were incredibly different from the jungle/island theme of the old office I was accustomed to visiting.

It just made me kind of sad. Growing up shouldn't mean that you leave behind anything crazy or fun. Of course, this is coming from the girl whose mother has repeatedly told her that she was never a child, but rather she was born as a bitter, old woman.

And, for the last of my dentist-related musings, I pose a question:

What did dentists do before these were invented?

Wipe the ish from your mouth on your shirt? 

Body Image Revelation

First off, let me make one thing very clear-- I do not think I am fat.

This being said, I should also mention that I struggled with my self-image for the majority of my high school career. And in some ways I still am. But I have come to an amazing revelation that I thought I'd share with this lonely corner of cyberspace.

I've been fairly disappointed with how I look in a bathing suit, and tighter clothing. This usually led to me being upset and eating a lot of pizza and ice cream.

NEWSFLASH: PIZZA AND ICE CREAM ARE NOT THAT GREAT FOR YOU.

Who knew, right?

Anyway, my point is that, for someone who really wasn't exercising, I was eating far more calories than my body needed. Not to mention that the food I chose to eat was incredibly high in fat, and low in nutritional value.

Then, sometime last week, I realized that I could solve my body image issues pretty easily-- simply by working out.  So I started doing the P90X Ab Ripper everyday and then followed that up with either a cardio video, running a mile, or (most recently) swimming laps for thirty minutes to an hour. In addition to this, I stopped snacking and added more protein to my diet. Other than those two things, though, I didn't drastically alter my diet. And that's the best thing-- when you're young, you don't need to diet in order to improve your health and start looking the way you want to.

If you're like me and aren't happy with how you look in that two-piece, you just have to stop crying about it, and do something instead! I can't promise that the results will be instantaneous, but you'll start feeling better even before you see any major changes because exercise increases endorphins that make you happy. (Dopamine, I believe.)

Morale of the Story: Either actively work to change what you don't like about your body, or learn to accept it like you should learn to do with the parts of you that aren't as easy to manipulate.

Now this isn't to say that you shouldn't be happy in your own skin. That calls for an entirely different post. My point is that if you're really unhappy with your weight, or general physique, then you have no need to hide under baggy t-shirts, or be so self-conscious because there's such a simply solution-- exercise. Which, might I mention, is super great for your heart and thus your general livelihood.

So, work on loving yourself. Do whatever you feel you need to do in order to be completely at home in your body, but be healthy about it.

Useless Inventions

I like the idea of listing things (somewhat like they do on cracked.com), but I am too lazy to try and order these in any way other than conception, so I apologize if you were hoping for something more clever.

Anyway, the following are inventions that I think are incredibly pointless and boarder on the utterly idiotic side. I mean, just think of what the people who came up with these things could have been doing with their lives instead-- working on the cure for cancer, solving the energy crisis, fixing the ozone.

Instead, we got:

1. Touch-less soap dispensers.

The point of these is to stop the spread of germs because now you don't have to touch the top of the dispenser. 

My Problem:
Why on earth does it matter if I do or do not touch the top of the germ-infested soap dispenser if I am about to clean my hands with said soap? Not to mention that this invention requires batteries, or some form of energy, whereas traditional dispensers run on man-power. We're wasting energy in an attempt to keep our hands germ-free right before we actually rid them of germs.

(Hank Green showed support of this same theory in one of his VlogBrother videos.)

2. The Miller Lite "Punch Top" Can.

Miller Lite claims that their can's additional tab gives you a "smoother pour". 

My Problem:

First of all, if the beer is already in a container, why does it require something to give it a smoother pour? It is completely unnecessary to put the beer in a glass because it's in the can. But let's say, for the sake of argument, that someone does actually wish to pour the beer from their perfectly functioning can to a glass just because they can-- why does it need a smoother pour? Logically, the smoother pour would only allow you to get your beer faster, not change its integrity. So basically what Miller Lite achieved was a way for beer-drinkers to get their beer seconds faster. And if getting your beer into that belly of yours seconds sooner really appeals to you, you may have bigger problems in your life to address first. 

3. The Coors Light "Cold Activated" Bottle. (Anyone else detect a pattern here?)

You've probably heard of these (unless you're some freak who hasn't turned on their TV in five years), but just in case you've forgotten, the mountains turn blue when the beer is "ice cold". 

My (probably obvious) Problem:

Seriously? You're too lazy to just touch the bottle in order to find out if your beer is cold enough? I suppose this would be helpful if the the nerves in your hands were unable to detect temperature, but otherwise it's just lazy. And to think Coors probably spent quite a nice chunk of change in order to develop the ink that would change the mountains blue. 

4. Apple's Siri for the iPhone.

Say whatever you want, and Siri will respond/give sassy remarks/do something you could have just done for yourself.

My Problem:

As an iPhone owner, I have rarely found myself entering an alarm, or reminder, and thinking, "Gee, this just takes way too much of my time to do, I wish there was some way my iPhone would just do it for me." But, you know, that may just be because I'm a perfectionist, control freak. Or maybe it's because I'm not a lazy, technology-dependent American. Somewhat technology-dependent, but certainly not that lazy. Obviously there are bound to be a few things actually beneficial from this development; I hear you're able to have Siri compose and send a text message for you. But for the most part, Siri doesn't seem to be something many people utilize (other than to ask stupid questions and get somewhat amusing answers to post on the internet.) 

Well, this is sort of making me weep for humanity, so I think I'll stop for now. 

Being Wasteful

The other day (yesterday), I was thinking about clothes. More specifically, mom clothes. Recently, I've started taking notice of the outfits that older women (30+) typically wear-- long shorts, mom jeans, etc. I realized that, even if I am magically able to keep a fairly decent body into my thirties, it will no longer be appropriate for me to wear mini skirts, cut-offs, really tight and short dresses, etc.

This got me thinking... Am I wasting my slutty year? As someone who typically dresses fairly(ish) conservatively, I cannot help but wonder if I should be taking advantage of this time. I mean, these next few years will, arguably, be the best years of my physical appearance, so should I not be using this time to the fullest?

Now this isn't to say that I am now going to start dressing like a hooker, but it does mean that I might actually where some of the shorter shorts I usually keep hidden in the back of my closet; maybe even slip on one of my shorter sun dresses, or a strapless shirt on occasion.

Additionally, I didn't intend to imply that I dress like a nun all the time. That is certainly not the case. The point is that if one of my friends makes a comment about my outfit being scandalous, I usually take it personally and try and defend myself. Maybe now I'll start embracing it; I won't be able to get away with this kind of thing later on in life. Unless, of course, I'm still single. In which case, I might just kill myself.


Kidding...

...sort of...

The [Revised] Rory Gilmore Book List

I have decided to embark on a reading challenge of astronomical proportions. The reason for this being that I am incredibly under-read, and now that a chapter of my life has come to a close (you know, graduating high school and whatnot), I have some free time for reading before the next one begins.

Anyway, I found this lovely thing called "The Rory Gilmore Reading List" and I'm going to use it as a reference for when I can't think of what book I should conquer next.

1984 – George Orwell
A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius – Dave Eggers
A Month Of Sundays: Searching For The Spirit And My Sister – Julie Mars
A Tale of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
A Passage to India – E.M. Forster
A Quiet Storm: A Novel – Rachel Howzell Hall
A Room of One’s Own – Virginia Woolf
A Separate Peace – John Knowles
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn – Betty Smith
Agnes Grey -- Anne Brontë
American Tragedy – Theodore Dreiser
Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl – Anne Frank
Atlas Shrugged – Ayn Rand 
Atonement: A Novel – Ian McEwan
Autobiography of a Face – Lucy Grealy
Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress: A Novel – Dai Sijie
Bee Season: A Novel – Myla Goldberg
Bel Canto – Ann PatchettBeloved – Toni Morrison
BeowulfBrave New World – Aldous Huxley
Brick Lane – Monica Ali
Catch-22 – Joseph Heller
The Collected Stories of Eudora Welty – Eudora Welty
Edgar Allan Poe: Complete Tales and Poems – Edgar Allan Poe
Cousin Bette – Honoré de Balzac
Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Daisy Miller – Henry James
David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
Dead Souls – Nikolai Gogol
Death of a Salesman – Arthur Miller
Demons – Fyodor Dostoevsky
Dombey and Son -- Charles Dickens
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde – Robert Louis Stevenson
Eleanor Roosevelt – Blanche Wiesen Cook
Ella Minnow Pea: A Progressively Lipogrammatic Epistolary Fable – Mark Dunn
Emma – Jane Austen (currently reading)
Empire Falls – Richard Russo
Ethan Frome – Edith Wharton
Extravagance: A Novel – Gary Krist
Fahrenheit 451 – Ray Bradbury
Fat Land: How Americans Became the Fattest People in the World – Greg Critser
Finnegan Awakes – James Joyce
Flowers for Algernon – Daniel Keyes
Frankenstein – Mary Shelley
Franny and Zooey – J.D. Salinger
Galapagos – Kurt Vonnegut
Gone with the Wind – Margaret Mitchell 
Hamlet – William Shakespeare
Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad
Holidays on Ice: Stories – David Sedaris
How the Light Gets In – M. J. Hyland
How to Breathe Underwater – Julie Orringer
Howl – Allen Ginsberg
Inherit the Wind – Jerome Lawrence
Jane Eyre – Charlotte Brontë
Just a Couple of Days – Tony Vigorito
Leaves of Grass – Walt Witman (I didn't read the entire collection of poems, but I read enough.)
Letters to a Young Poet – Rainer Maria Rilke
Life of Pi – Yann Martel
Little Dorrit – Charles Dickens
Little Women – Louisa May Alcott
Living History – Hillary Rodham Clinton
Lord of the Flies – William Golding
Mansfield Park – Jane Austen
Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert
Me Talk Pretty One Day – David Sedaris
Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter – Simone de Beauvoir
Mencken Chrestomathy – H.L. Mencken
Middlesex – Jeffrey Eugenides
Moby-Dick – Herman Melville
Monsieur Proust – Celeste Albaret
Mrs. Dalloway – Virginia Woolf
My Lai 4: A Report on the Massacre and Its Aftermath – Seymour M. Hersh
My Life in Orange: Growing Up with the Guru – Tim Guest
Nervous System: Or, Losing My Mind in Literature – Jan Lars Jensen
New Poems of Emily Dickinson – Emily Dickinson
Night – Elie Wiesel
Northanger Abbey -- Jane Austen
Dawn Powell: Novels 1930-1942 – Dawn Powell
Old School – Tobias WolffOliver Twist – Charles Dickens
On the Road – Jack Kerouac
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest – Ken Kesey
Oracle Night – Paul Auster
Oryx and Crake – Margaret Atwood
Othello – William Shakespeare
Out of Africa – Isak Dinesen
Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk – Legs McNeil
Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
Property – Valerie Martin
Pushkin: A Biography – T.J. Binyon
Pygmalion – George Bernard Shaw
Quattrocento – James Mckean
Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books – Azar Nafisi
Rescuing Patty Hearst: Memories From a Decade Gone Mad – Virginia Holman
Romeo and Juliet – William Shakespeare
Rosemary’s Baby – Ira Levin
Sacred Time – Ursula Hegi
Sanctuary – William Faulkner
Savage Beauty: The Life of Edna St. Vincent Millay – Nancy Milford
Seabiscuit: An American Legend – Laura Hillenbrand
Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen
Siddhartha – Hermann Hesse
Slaughterhouse-Five – Kurt Vonnegut
Small Island – Andrea Levy
The Snows of Kilimanjaro and Other Stories – Ernest Hemingway
Song of the Simple Truth: The Complete Poems of Julia de Burgos – Julia de Burgos
Songbook – Nick Hornby
Speak, Memory – Vladimir Nabokov
Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers – Mary Roach
Swann’s Way – Marcel Proust
Swimming With Giants: My Encounters With Whales, Dolphins, and Seals – Anne Collett
Sybil – Flora Rheta Schreiber
Tender Is the Night – F. Scott Fitzgerald
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn – Mark Twain
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay – Michael Chabon
The Art of War – Sun Tzu
The Awakening – Kate Chopin
The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath
The Bielski Brothers: The True Story of Three Men Who Defied the Nazis, Built a Village in the Forest, and Saved 1,200 Jews – Peter Duffy
The Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger
The Code of the Woosters – P.G. Wodehouse
The Count of Monte Cristo – Alexander Dumas
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time – Mark Haddon
The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America – Erik Larson
The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test – Tom Wolfe
The Five People You Meet in Heaven – Mitch Albom
The Fortress of Solitude – Jonathan Lethem
The Fountainhead – Ayn Rand
The God of Small Things – Arundhati Roy
The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Group – Mary McCarthy
The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
The Holy Barbarians – Lawrence Lipton
The Hunchback of Notre-Dame – Victor Hugo
The Jungle – Upton Sinclair
The Kitchen Boy: A Novel of the Last Tsar – Robert Alexander
The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
The Last Empire: Essays 1992-2000 – Gore Vidal
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe – C.S. Lewis
The Little Locksmith: A Memoir – Katharine Butler Hathaway
The Lottery: And Other Stories – Shirley Jackson
The Manticore – Robertson Davies
The Master and Margarita – Mikhail Bulgakov
The Meaning of Consuelo – Judith Ortiz Cofer
The Metamorphosis – Franz Kafka
The Naked and the Dead – Norman Mailer
The Name of the Rose – Umberto Eco
The Namesake – Jhumpa Lahiri
The Nanny Diaries – Emma McLaughlin
The Opposite of Fate – Amy Tan
The Perks of Being a Wallflower – Stephen Chbosky
The Picture of Dorian Gray – Oscar Wilde
The Polysyllabic Spree – Nick Hornby
The Portable Dorothy Parker – Dorothy Parker
The Portable NietzscheThe Razor’s Edge – W. Somerset Maugham
The Red Tent – Anita Diamant
The Scarecrow of Oz – L. Frank Baum
The Scarlet Letter – Nathaniel Hawthorne
The Second Sex – Simone De Beauvoir
The Secret Life of Bees -Sue Kidd
The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon
The Song of Names – Norman Lebrecht
The Song Reader – Lisa Tucker
The Sound and the Fury – William Faulkner
The Story of My Life – Helen Keller
The Sun Also Rises – Ernest Hemingway
The Time Traveler’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters – Elisabeth Robinson
Unabridged Journals – Sylvia Plath
The Year of Magical Thinking – Joan Didion
Time and Again – Jack Finney
To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
Truth and Beauty: A Friendship – Ann Patchett
Uncle Tom’s Cabin – Harriet Beecher Stowe
Unless – Carol Shields
Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
When the Emperor Was Divine – Julie Otsuka
Wuthering Heights -- Emily Brontë
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? – Edward Albee
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West – Gregory Maguire

As you can see, I have yet to read a great deal of these. I've also decided to add to the list (I already added a few) as I collect more books I need to read. I'm actually quite embarrassed with the obvious lack of lines through the titles above... Ah well, that is precisely what the rest of this summer is for. 

On an unrelated note, the results from my IB exams were released yesterday-- I GOT MY DIPLOMA! Woohoo! Alright, I'm done. Guess I'll get my nose back in those books. Happy reading!